What comes to your mind when you hear the word vulnerable? Is it okay to be vulnerable? Medically, it can be defined as being susceptible to an illness.
But here, we explore vulnerability as being capable of dealing with unpleasant feelings, acknowledging needs, and asking for help.
Dr. Brene Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” This is typically a feeling that overcomes us when we step out of our comfort zone. Vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness; it is a sign of personal strength.
Certain occasions require us to be vulnerable. At times, we need to share our thoughts and emotions; our needs and insights would help alleviate the burden within us.
When we are vulnerable, we show that we love and we care. When we share our inner world, we connect with others. Even though we may not be undergoing the same thing, we will not feel so alone. We feel supported and understood. Our stories may also serve to comfort others.
There is beauty in vulnerability. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we are able to see the possibilities. Vulnerability opens us up to emotional courage. A deeper connection in relationships would not be possible without vulnerability. Choose to be vulnerable as it is good for your relationships and overall wellbeing.
Becoming more vulnerable
Unfortunately, some of us have been taught to keep our emotions to ourselves. Too many of us have been made to believe that vulnerability is a weakness.
Vulnerability in loving relationships can bring about more meaningful connections. It allows us to express our deepest feelings. This can include negative emotions such as fear, grief, anxiety, frustration, and desperation. There is trust in the other party as we open ourselves.
Here, some ways we can be more vulnerable in our relationships.
Be fully present. Many of us are multi-taskers. By being fully present, we connect with our loved ones, giving them priority. In loving relationships, it is important to be present simply because these people are important to us. When we are fully present, we make our loved ones feel safe. When people feel safe, they can come as they are. They allow themselves to be vulnerable, be their worst selves, and still feel loved, cared for, and understood.
Let your loved ones be. Gift them with time and space to express themselves. Whenever we interrupt, we send a strong, wrong signal. Interruptions may be interpreted as “what you say is not important” or “I have a judgment about it.” Suspend any opinions and be fully present.
Ask the right questions. Be deliberate with words. Listen and ask questions that make your loved one feel supported. Ask questions like: How are you dealing with this? How can I support you? How can I be more loving to you? Connect not only with the head but with the heart and soul.
Check the patterns in the dynamics of your relationship. When arguments get heated, how do you deal with it? We deal with issues differently but we need to be intentional in the way we work on conflicts.
The depth of our relationships is deeply rooted in our capacity to be emotionally vulnerable. A healthy relationship cannot exist in times of crisis without vulnerability.
Photo by Ryan ‘O’ Niel on Unsplash