“Many people lose their battles outside, because they waste their energy inside.” This was pointed out by Psychologist Pamela Hays, Ph.D.
How we cope with life inside us is connected with how we cope outside. One of the more important things that we need to learn to stay healthy in mind, body and spirit is the power to choose our thoughts.
We go through life bringing unconscious thought patterns which become the basis of our words and actions. Our thoughts affect our words, actions, and emotions. While many of our thought patterns are good and appropriate, at certain situations or seasons in our life, some of these unconscious precepts may result in unhealthy ways of living. They may affects even how we act, behave, and relate.
Taking a pause allows us to catch actual thought patterns and learn how we respond to them, or look at situations and see where our reaction are coming from. Other times, we tend to be too irked with a situation. Upon reflection, we recall unfortunate events from childhood. Such situations may bring unpleasant feelings which point towards our inner life. We can discern where our energy goes.
Luke 10:41-42 stated, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about so many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one…Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Mary chose to rest and listen to Jesus. No one can take away her choice; she was content with it. Martha chose to be hospitable, but she fretted, fussed, and compared herself to Mary. She was very likely unhappy that she was doing everything and not getting any help.
Mary made a choice. Martha made a choice. How you spend your energy is up to you, but you have to be content with your choice.
When we pause, it is a chance to reflect on where our energy goes. This is so important. When confronted with concerns such as having too much or not knowing what to prioritize, does our energy go to reacting or responding?
Reacting is when we defend old beliefs. When things happen, do we keep justifying and making excuses? Do we project and blame others for our emotions and situations? What happens next? We are never able to grow from the situation and do something other than bank on old beliefs. And so we waste time and energy making juvenile excuses for how we are. We choose to react.
Responding is when we find and do new possibilities. Responding means taking thoughtful time to pause and reflect and letting go of unnecessary belief patterns and actions that are not helpful in the now. It is our choice not to fret over spilled milk or play the blame game, then spend precious energy on matters beyond our control. Responding is choosing to use our energy well. Despite the ugliness of a situation, we deliberately make steps to find solutions and create helpful actions to make things better. At times, we cannot really do anything. But learning how to respond is also creating new possibilities on how we can let go of things beyond us and be at peace with the choice we make.
To pause is to rest. The power of pause is to harness our inner composure and ability to accept things as they are and find healthier and more peaceful ways of doing things. It does not mean we bypass the emotion, or we are not affected by what is pinning us down. It is being accepting and actively in the path of doing things to be better, to grow, and be well in all aspects including our spiritual growth.
Allowing ourselves to pause and be is something we owe ourselves. It is choosing the better path, the better portion, being content with our decision, then being at peace with it. Life will go on, the world would revolve, that is why harnessing the power of pause is one deliberate choice we must consciously do to be totally well in mind, body, and spirit!