Commitment, change, and consistency are significant in family life and relationships.
Commitment. I read somewhere that commitment means staying true to what you said you were going to do, long after the feeling has left you. We committed to our spouse to make the marriage work when we exchanged “I dos” in the altar. We committed to becoming great parents when we first laid eyes on our newborn child.
Change. The only constant thing in the world is change. Change comes with that willingness to pursue our commitment in our relationships. We need to change, tweak, and create steps to move out of our regular patterns and comfort zone, and pursue the commitment.
It is in this phase that we struggle. We often see change as big and loud: a surprise getaway with your spouse, a lavish gift for your child, a buffet treat for the family. These instances are most welcome. Who wouldn’t want these?
Yet in the daily grind of family life, change can come in small measures. Wake up a bit early to have breakfast with your family. Say thank you to the people who help manage your home. Plan an intimate birthday celebration for a loved one, even if planning isn’t your thing. How are you committed to the relationship as well as to pursuing the small changes that show your commitment?
Kenneth Blanchard said, “There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you are interested in doing something, you only do it when it is convenient. When you are committed to doing something, you accept no excuses, only results.”
If you are committed, you cannot keep on making excuses.
Consistency. Bo Sanchez once said, “Do the boring basics, and you will find success knocking at your door.” In this case, it is success at having a great family life. The boring basics need consistency even if it’s not your style. Instilling the change and moving out of the convenient zone creates concerns, even crisis if these are not handled well. You and your loved one may argue only about common issues. But if this continues, and no changes are done, what was common may elevate into a crisis. We should not wait when our spouse, children, or family members get used to our being consistently inconsistent, or interested but not committed, wanting to change but not really changing. We need to take small, but progressive and consistent steps. Consistency is the key!
In the book The Confident Woman Devotional, Joyce Meyer wrote: “It is not what we do right one or two times that makes a difference in our lives; it’s what we do right consistently.”
Be consistent in showing your love, verbalizing gratefulness, giving notes or gifts, and spending quality time (not just good time) with the people closest to you. It is not how big or grand you show your love and appreciation. It is the small daily details that we craft a big life. From such consistency, your commitment will shine through.
This article first appeared in Family Reborn October 2016, but has since been updated.